Ser adolescente hoy

lunes, septiembre 11, 2006

Resistiendo al cambio: la toma de decisiones


Una importante parte del "yo" de todo adolescente, realmente necesita y quiere "libertad", es decir que quiere y puede tomar las riendas de su vida, tomar decisiones responsables y ser un individuo independiente, Sin embargo, otra parte de ese "yo" teme a esa libertad, quiere que lo "salven" de ella, hace todo lo posible para que otro tome decisiones por ellos.
El individuo quiere la libertad de tomar sus propias decisiones, pero al mismo tiempo quiere permanecer seguro y protegido al amparo de viejos habitos, y que sea otro el que tome las decisiones.
El adolescente se encuentra inmerso en esta crisis, en estos miedos porque ha avanzado a una edad en la cual se comienza a reafirmar la propia individualidad.Para mantenerse mentalmente sano un adolescente necesita darse cuenta de que no es duplicado de alguien, y que los impulsos en que se originan sus acciones vienen desde adentro y no desde afuera, Dicho en otras palabras, para el adolescente es fundamental desarrollar su propia identidad.
Para hacerlo, idefectiblemente necesitara tomar decisiones que difieran de las de sus padres, aunque mas no sea para poder darse cuenta de que es capaz de originar ideas propias.
Mas adelante cuando el adolescente haya pasado por todo esto y tome conciencia de que efectivamente es un individuo independiente,
Es probable que acepte mucha de las ideas de los padres que antes rechazara, pero con la diferencia de que ahora las acepta porque él quiere. Indudablemente representa una terrible presion interior, tomar sus propias decisiones.
Pero que tiene miedo de asumirla. Sin ninguna duda una parte del adolescente, honesta y sinceramente desea y necesita liberarse, pero la idea de libertad tambien lo asusta. La tentacion de volver corriendo a la jaula es muy grande, por eso la mayoria de los jovenes lo hace varias veces. La forma de volver a la jaula para un adolescente es conseguir que otro decida por él.
Podriamos decir que el adolescente se ha vuelto adicto a que le presten esa atencion negativa.
Cada vez que surge la posibilidad de tomar sus propias decisiones, los jovenes reaccionan, provocando a los padres a fin de que asuman la responsabilidad en lugar de ellos. Y los padres lo hacen, dispensandolo, de una u otra forma, "atencion negativa" a traves de una actitud que significa: "te ordeno que hagas tal o cual cosa". Sin que quizas tenga conciencia de este mecanismo, la mayoria de los adolescentes comprende perfectamente bien que es lo que le molesta a sus padres y saben como utilizar ese conocimiento para provocar exactamente el grado de consejo, castigo o desaprobación que están buscando.

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